Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the mornings hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.
Suddenly felt like I should document what has happened this year. It really has been an eventful year, and honestly, I’d never have seen (most of) them coming.
But some things should remain private. I suppose..
This year I:
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
-Mignon McLaughlin
I really really love some people right now. It takes big things for us to appreciate things we take for granted, really.
Every mornin’ I look at you and smile
Cause boy you came around and you knocked me down..Sometimes love comes around
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down.❤
I wanna break free from this endless cycle of heartbreak, disappointment, and expectations.
I don’t want to give anymore, I don’t want to complain, and I don’t want to be.
It’s really amazing how stubborn I can be, when the facts are presented so plainly in front of me. Instead of believing, I choose to ignore. But I’m not alone in this.
I really want to give up, but I don’t have the courage to do it, nor the strength to carry on after.
I used to be lovedrunk
But now I’m hungover
Love is forever
Forever is over
“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect – you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break – her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.” -Bob Marley
Is it me? Am I the reason people always leave? Am I the reason all these things keep happening to me? Maybe I’m just destined to be alone.
You have to begin to lose your memory, if only in bits and pieces, to realize that memory is what makes our lives. Life without memory is no life at all, just as an intelligence without the possibility of expression is not really an intelligence.
Our memory is our coherence, our reason, our feeling, even our action. Without it, we are nothing.
Luis Buñuel
These days, I’ve been trying hard to remember my past. Memories I’ve shared with all the people I’ve loved and cared for. Fleeting images that turn what was real into what seemed like events that might have happened.
Forget isn’t the same as not remembering. But it’s indistinguishable, whether I’ve forgotten those memories, or if it is that I don’t remember them.
Our dreams, they’re made out of real things. If only they could be like the yellowed pages of the letters we still keep in shoeboxes, or like the sepia-toned photographs we’d taken in the love of all things old-fashioned, then they would be tangible mementos we could sieve through. But they’re not. They fade away like polaroids, inevitable. Brilliant as they were at conception, blank as they are with time.
I’m in love, truly madly. The joy and elation each time I receive a phone-call, a text message, an email – can you imagine?
Life is deceiving sometimes, though. Some memories are best left forgotten. It’s lovely where I am, when I am.
So close the door and dim the lights, we’re staying here tonight
Far away from the crowd and the bright city lights
Let them all fade away, just leave us alone
And we’ll live in this wonderful world of our own
And if I were to ask you today, “If you could open a door to anywhere, where would you go?”
I know where I’d wanna be.
Had a short chat with my grandma today, really pretty enlightening.
People these days (us) seem to find the easy way out of everything. Our societies are so different from the rigid structured societies of the past, and yet we still complain.
Sometimes I wonder if having no choice makes life any easier for us. I keep telling a friend that I wished my life was planned out for me, because I have no idea what I want to do at all. But God knows we’ll complain if our lives are planned for us, like they were for the older generations. It wasn’t just for the Asian societies I believe, seemed more like a phase that has passed, into the “liberal” phase that we are in right now. I really wonder what societies will be like a century from now. or maybe 2 centuries from now.
I’ve been having awfully weird dreams lately, most of which can be classified under nightmares I suppose. ): and now I’m suffering from a severe lack of proper sleep.
You know how your parents would choose / judge people you bring home? Whether they’re just friends, or people you’re in a relationship with. And it’s so scary to know that when you go over to your friends’ places, their parents might just be doing the exact thing.
Sometimes, you’re the one that people don’t want their kids hanging out with.
My grandma believes in fate. I love how she comments on the smallest things in life, things that we wouldn’t even notice usually. Things that she notice because her experiences are different from us, and her attention is concentrated on things different from ours. I love how her words are so honest, so questioning, so sincere. And most of all I love how her mindset is so open and (what we’d term as) modern even though she belongs to the older generation.
I’ve been wondering about why things happened the way they did/do. Why people interact the way they do, and why some things work out so perfectly, while others fail so miserably. I honestly believe that our lives are all mapped out, but that our paths are only revealed to us with time. And I believe we do things because we’re meant to, and even when we face choices and make decisions – they’re supposed to happen too. Just like when you program things, “If this..then this.” I’m curious to see my whole life, but I wouldn’t want to.
Anyhow, I’ve a few resolutions:
(: I’ve slightly over a month left to the end of holidays. 4 months of holidays isn’t as long as I thought. And I totally agree that the days pass by so slowly, but weeks and months fly past.
Why isn’t my life like a situation comedy? Why don’t I have a bunch of friends with nothing better to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures? Why aren’t my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms? Why don’t my friends demonstrate heartfelt concern for my well being when I have problems? …I gotta get my life some writers.
It just hit me that my exams are tomorrow. Technically, since it’s like 12am now (and I’ve never been up so late here).
Wow, it’s just like fuck it’s tomorrow.
Oh dear.
And what about my logbook. Hahahaha michelle. Dumbass.
I just consumed half a bar of chocolate =\ I’m really sick of chocolates but there’s nothing else to munch on. 3 apples a day really kills the joy in eating apples. But dinner was refreshing 😛 and nice. And I hope the boys are home (I’m really really sorry, if you’re reading this.. T_T I should have left earlier when it was still bright. =\)
And, I conclude that tiramisu chocolates are terrible. And the chocolates with alcohol here are REALLY alcohol alcohol, like. omgwtf gross alcohol. Thankfully I tried them before buying them to bring back. Eww.
Quail’s spring 09 collection is really gorgeous. I wanna get the stanie cropped jacket in nude, georgia racer in strawberry, and the jam top in champagne. Oh and the arch jacket from fall08, Sigh.
from sugarxnspice,
To love is to give and not expect anything in return. To love is to give yourself wholeheartedly to another, and knowing the risk of being hurt, but nevertheless willingly so. Such vulnerability is beautiful. And to love very often means to sacrifice. You do certain things, but hide the words; love expressed through actions is far stronger than words.
Most of all, love can be felt with the heart, not reasoned by the mind. Love creeps to you slowly but surely, filling up your whole world before you even know it. Love makes you so helpless, doing things you never could control.
What are we; we are but only human.
Sometimes, often most unexpected times, we can’t help falling in love.
I should sleep soon.
was so much fun (: trips are always about the company, isn’t it?
I wish we didnt have to come back so soon. I wish it wasn’t week 11 already. I wish we didn’t have so much to do. I wish we could freeze time sometimes.
I’d post pictures but I decided that I want to keep them till I’m ready to share. hehe.
and this poem is so. beautiful.
If You Forget Me
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
Pablo Neruda
Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep people away. But to see who cares enough to tear those walls down.
I find it almost amusing that I worry (daily) about things that I don’t bother attempting to solve.
Maybe I’m just attention-seeking.
I don’t know, I can’t figure myself out.
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